What the stars are saying from the holler to the high ridge
Now before anybody writes in, let's be clear. I don't believe in astrology.
I also want to be clear that I read my horoscope every single week, have for thirty years, and once rescheduled a fishing trip because Mercury was in retrograde and I didn't want to deal with the outboard motor acting up.
The difference between regular astrology and Appalachian astrology is this: regular astrology tells you Venus is in Taurus and you should open your heart to abundance. Appalachian astrology tells you Venus is in Taurus and you should probably check the barn roof before that storm comes through Thursday.
One of these is useful. Here's what the heavens are whispering this week.
♈ Aries Mars is pushing you toward action, which is either good news or bad news depending on whether that action involves a chainsaw. Think before you start the chainsaw. Aries never thinks before they start the chainsaw. That's why every Aries you know has a story that begins with "well, I probably should've waited on that."
You're right. You should've waited on that.
♉ Taurus It's your season. Sun in Taurus, Venus in Taurus, and you are insufferable about it. You deserve to be. This is the sign built for early May — stubborn as a pushed truck, comfortable as a front porch. Make something with your hands this week. Bake bread. Fix a fence. Plant something you won't harvest until fall. Taurus plants things it won't live to see bloom and calls that wisdom. It is wisdom.
♊ Gemini Your season is coming and you're already restless. You've had three separate ideas this week, started two of them, and finished none. The stars are not surprised. Pick one thing. Finish it. The other two ideas will still be there. They're always still there. You've got notebooks full of them.
♋ Cancer The full moon is incoming and you are already feeling it in ways you won't admit. You teared up at something on television. You called your mother for no particular reason and talked for forty-five minutes. You drove past your grandmother's old house even though it wasn't on the way to anywhere. You're not a crab. You're a mood ring that learned to walk. This week: let someone help you carry something.
♌ Leo The sun isn't in your sign and you've been quietly sulking since April. People haven't been paying attention at the rate you require. The stars suggest you redirect that energy. You are genuinely good at taking charge when something needs taking charge of. There's a potluck somewhere that needs organizing. Go do that.
♍ Virgo You have a list. You have a list of your lists. One of them has been sitting on the counter since February and you've reorganized it four times without crossing anything off. This week: pick three things. Three. Do those. Cross them off with a real pen. Feel the feeling that produces. That feeling is why Virgos secretly run everything.
♎ Libra Someone asked where you wanted to eat and you said "wherever's fine" and then had opinions about every suggestion. Venus in Taurus is pushing you toward good food and comfort, but Libra can't just want something without first examining whether wanting it is appropriate. It is appropriate. Order the thing you actually want. Nobody at the table is keeping score. Except other Libras. Other Libras are keeping score.
♏ Scorpio You already know what's going on with everyone around you. You knew two weeks ago. You've been waiting to see who brings it up first. The stars say this week you might consider sharing one of those observations. Just one. With someone who can use it. You've been a vault long enough. Vaults aren't any good to anybody if nothing ever comes out.
♐ Sagittarius The moon moved through your sign early this week and you feel like going somewhere. You always feel like going somewhere. That's not the moon, that's just you. Pick a destination. Even a small one. A waterfall you haven't seen. A diner two towns over. The Sagittarius who plants their feet stays restless. The one who moves comes home easier.
♑ Capricorn The moon moves into your sign mid-week and you will feel briefly, unusually emotional about something you will immediately explain away in practical terms. A song comes on and you sit in the driveway four extra minutes. You call it "just tired." You've been working very hard for a long time. The mountain respects that. But even the mountain has a creek running through it. Let the creek run.
♒ Aquarius You've already read three articles this week that nobody else in your social circle has found yet, and you are waiting, with great difficulty, for the moment to bring them up organically. Lead with the interesting part. Skip the part where you explain why most people don't know about it. They know why. You've explained the why before. You're more fun when you trust the interesting part.
♓ Pisces You had a dream this week that meant something. You know it meant something. The Eta Aquarid meteors are burning up in the atmosphere right now — Halley's comet dust, ancient and still falling — and Pisces is the sign that feels that kind of thing in the chest without needing to understand why. Don't overthink the dream. Write down the one image that stayed with you when you woke up. That's the part that matters. The rest was just your brain doing laundry.
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🌙 MOUNTAIN MOON NOTE
The moon is waxing toward full this week, moving through Sagittarius and into Capricorn. Moisture is pulling upward. Good time for planting above-ground crops, starting new things, and making promises you actually intend to keep. The Eta Aquarid meteor shower peaks May 5th and 6th before dawn — Halley's comet leftovers lighting up the sky over the ridge. You don't have to stand out in the dew at 4 a.m. to appreciate that something ancient is still making its rounds.
But you could.
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🍀 Lucky Numbers: 5, 23, 44 🍽️ Lucky Meal: Pinto beans, cornbread, and whatever's coming in from the garden 🧭 Lucky Direction: Uphill, toward the ridge, with the windows down
Come back next week when we see what the stars, the moon, and the second week of May have planned for all of us.
The Wayne Train Appalachian Astrology column is written for entertainment purposes by a man who definitely did not reschedule a fishing trip because of Mercury. That story has been greatly exaggerated and the outboard motor was probably already acting up.